fitz and i….rollin down the roads less traveled…

 

we have traveled quickly through washington and oregon. the freezing temperatures in washington convinced me to come back at a later date for further exploration. i was also worried i might damage the hoses in the rig. the night we camped in a rest stop outside of Leavenworth with truckers and the like, the temps dropped to 6 degrees, persuading me that it was time to head to the desert. dont get me wrong. i really love seasons, but this season,here in washington…too flipping cold for this beach girl!

we drove the backroads , and state highways . it takes longer to get where one is headed, but oh the gifts…i would have missed the eagle hanging out on a rock in a pond, or the two old guys sitting on the front porch shootin the shit; houses with wrap around porches that all gaze out towards one of the many majestic mountains of washington, be it Rainer , St. Helens, Adams, or Baker…to name a few; i saw lovers in old beater pick ups sitting right next to each other and the romantic in me bloomed… i smelled the clear, clean mountain air.

i have spent my time getting to know fitz. i am not mechanically , nor anything auto inclined…so its been a real challenge. getting to know batteries, solar power, composting toilet , water pumps, gauges just to name a few. and i have to say its been a learning curve! then of course, there’s the space. its a tiny house…there are things that i am going to have to get used to..such as very minimal storage for clothes…and the tiny frig, but i totally dig it. you know, its similar to having a backpack on your back..we dont need as much as we think we do!

i am going through the realization that i did it! my past is inundated with plans made, and then plans trashed. with brilliant ideas that never got fulfilled. i was one who was afraid to commit to one thing, in the event i would miss out on another. but i am here, now. it is extremely empowering.

living in an rv for the past three years, i realized how much i loved life on the road. i learned so much about this lifestyle, so im not a complete novice. but to my benefit, i am not a perfectionist! i have truly learned to go with the flow…if i must go right and i intended on going left..well then the adventure begins.

traveling into oregon is always a treat. i stop in to visit my dear friends, Kirby and Justin. i met Kirby while hiking the PCT 4 plus years ago, and we have remained solid friends. we walked and talked, shared a couple meals and then i moved on, with promises we would meet soon in Death Valley.

the past two weeks have been in preparation for my year on the road. of course i have way too much stuff in here now, and i am missing some things i need. i am heading back to Santa Cruz after visiting my daughters. i will spend some time with mom, rick and diana…a few friends and then i will be rollin on.

 

i am fairly certain i will stay in the west for my first journey. i have become captivated with southern Utah, Colorado and setting my sights on Idaho( especially since i have promised my cousin i will come her way) Wyoming and Montana. im not committing to any one plan as i will go as the winds take me. i have new friends to meet. new mountains to climb. new rivers to kayak and paddle. there are many adventures awaiting me, and i awaiting them.

curiosity fills me. i know not what awaits me out there in the world. but i know i am a willing participant. my heart exposed, my arms wide open…

to quote my favorite poet, mary oliver

“you do not have to be good. you do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert repenting. you only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves. tell me about your despair, and i will tell you mine. meanwhile the world goes on. meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of rain are moving across the landscapes, over the prairies and the deep trees, the mountains and the rivers. meanwhile the wild geese , high in the clean blue air, are heading home again. whoever you are, no matter how lonely, the world offers itself to your imagination, calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting- over and over announcing your place in the family of things.”

i have a calling. a calling to life. i am called to experience those things that Michael, Diana, Wally, Jayne, Blair, Christian, Jacob, Zachary, and all the others cant experience as they are no longer here, or cant because of what life has put in their path. i have a calling…perhaps this is my purpose.

home

i have come to realize that home is so much more than 4 walls….

from the time i was 5 years old, i was running away. all through my sixty years, i have been searching, for something.

my friend, David once said to me…” i realized you havent been running from anything, but towards something.” that was said to me many years ago. i now realize, i was always looking for home, not realizing it was within. so, i wasnt running from you, or from this or that, but in reality I was running towards me.

i now know…home is when i am my most authentic self. the self that doesnt put on masks, titles, or expectations. that place where fear and insecurities dont exist. the self that is raw in every way. meaning, i am simply, who i am, in the moment. it is here, in this sweet revelation, that i have discovered home. no story lines. no needing to know, anything.

northern washington, snoqualamie falls

my intention in this blog post was to introduce you to my”home” on wheels. instead, i would like to introduce you to “Fitzroy”…the wheels that will fill my life with adventure. with new sunrises and sunsets every single day. the wheels that will encourage me to delve into my creative..that place where i am alive and amazed and wanting to share with you.

fitzroy

i have to admit i was scared to death to follow thru with this “vanlife.” thoughts swirling within telling me there was no way i would follow through. i typically don’t, allowing fear to win, and me to change course. i was always afraid if i did this, i might miss out on that…

what a crazy way to live.

i want to live for those who have passed. for those who are filled with disease of the emotional or physical types, that cant live life as they wish. i want to live for those, like my friend Karl who said once when i asked if he had surfed that day..his response” im too busy.” my response to him…”too busy to live?”

life is, in fact…so much more.

white river falls..tygh valley

mary oliver said,” instructions, for living a life…pay attention. be astonished. tell about it.”

i am here to tell you about it…with nothing but love in my heart… and a creative life in my soul

a new chapter

i begin again….

in a few days a dream that has been germinating for years will come to fruition. years ago as my late husband and i dreamt of seeing the United States in a RV, he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. my father offered to help us in purchasing the rig, but reality struck and we realized michael just wasnt strong enough. the past couple of years my boyfriend , michael and i were living the dream, traveling in his RV seeing the southwest. as things do, we changed…he went his way, and i went mine.

i am headed to pick up my sprinter van, which i have named “Fitzroy”, after the majestic mountain in South America, which has captivated me ever since i laid eyes on it 5 years ago. with the help of freedom vans and michael (my ex ), i designed my home on wheels. my journey begins.

i have decided not to lay plans as plans so often change, but merely go where the winds take me. adventure, photographing and writing will have time to flourish and my heart to soar on the wings of freedom.

my heart is so alive when i am on the road, experiencing new places, new people, and new possibilities.

please follow along if you like. i delight in sharing with others in the hopes it will inspire you to follow your dreams. 

“tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one, wild and precious life?” 

mary oliver 

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